Showing posts with label USA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label USA. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Quill #89 - Native Ancestors

Like most Americans, we're mutts. Our family tree looks like a map of Western Europe, almost. One of my lines is Swedish and German, mainly. Another is Native American, Scottish, Irish and German. Peregrin adds more Native American to the mix, as well as English and French ancestors. Thanks to him, our kids have the blood of three tribal nations and more NA heritage than I do.

When I was growing up I wasn't told about my native lineage. We lived near a reservation where the Indians were shooting at cars that passed through their lands if the drivers weren't obviously residents. It was considered a bit shameful to be an Indian and my parents were afraid I would tell everyone. They were right. When they did finally tell me, around age twelve, I was so pleased and excited that I told all my classmates the next day.

I went to the library and checked out everything I could find on "my people." I knew the basic history of mainstream textbooks. I didn't know, then, of the ongoing abuses. This search for my roots turned into one of the most depressing tasks I've ever forced myself to do. In the mid-seventies, small town library, midwest, there were no positive or uplifting messages about natives. New age books were not available. Books on NA religions were scholarly works, very rare, and not available to a girl with no money. Much of my later research was done at the university I attended after high school.

For many years, based on the books I read, I believed that I wouldn't be welcomed by reservation natives. About the time Kyrie was born, that error was corrected. I was told that anyone could take classes on reservations now - or at least the one nearest me. But, by the time I learned this, I had changed. My life was already too busy to add more obligations and my beliefs were somewhat settled. I chose to wait for a quieter time that never came.


(Images from Lolcats, public domain images, and personal archives.)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Quill #83 - Halloween Memories #6

Peregrin, upon his return from a year in Korea, was stationed at Ft. Huachuca in Arizona for two years, most of which son and I spent with him. Our first year there could easily be titled "The Year in Which a New Army Family Learns Base Rules." For example, the sameness of every single house is how things are preferred in the military.

Thus, when we planted pumpkins in our back yard and they took over our property, we were not the most popular family on the base. We were the subject of much higher level discussion, apparently, and it was decided that we would be allowed to keep the pumpkins as a form of helping ourselves, much like a garden might, but we were warned that the vines would have to be chopped and removed as soon as the gourds could be harvested. It was also suggested to us, strongly, that, in turn for this favor and leniency, we might take a few pumpkins or a pie to our base commander in gratitude.

When the pumpkins had turned orange and were about the size of cantaloupes, our leniency ended. We were ordered to harvest and clean up the yard. I would have liked to let them grow another couple of weeks but we weren't given a choice in the matter. We did as we were told. I don't remember if we gave any to the commander. I may have given a pie or two. I was not the most docile member of the community, often bristling at rules and orders that didn't seem fair to me.

My second year on base was better, but I was glad Peregrin decided not to make a career out of the military. One four-year stint was more than enough for me. Too many people don't realize that when one member of a family serves, the whole family serves with them, apart half the time and living within strict guidelines if together. The Army didn't just own him; it owned all three of us.

Veterans do deserve a lot of respect for the service they give to country. So do their families.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Quill #65 - 25 Things About Me (crossposted from FaceBook)

1. When I was a child, the only pets I ever loved died tragic deaths.

One hung itself on a leash when my parents weren't watching it while I was visiting grandparents, one was hit by a school bus on the street in front of our house, one was 14 years old when I got her and died within a few months, one got pneumonia because my parents wouldn't let it live in the house, and one died of car fumes because my parents didn't want the puppy in the car and the ride in the trunk took too long. I think this, combined with my father's attitude toward pets, made me the kind of person who is afraid to be attached too strongly to animals.

2. I'm a Libra. And while I've never put a whole lot of stock in astrology, I have taken the concept of fairness to heart. I have always been the kind of person who sought fairness and tried to be fair to others. I have often failed, but not for lack of trying.

3. The first time I remember being put on a diet was when I was eight years old. My mother decided she wasn't happy with her own appearance and she wanted company on her calorie counting program. At the time, I was normal for my age and development.

4. My high school class voted me the "Hardest Worker." In the four years, I got maybe two or three grades lower than an A, and placed third in my class. We were told that the top 5 people were so close that officials had to go back to grade school to assess who would be valedictorian.

5. The top two professions I wanted to follow, when I graduated in 1979, were denied to me because of my gender.

6. I had three miscarriages between my two children, mostly due to stress. In fact, our son was a miracle baby because I almost lost him twice, and daughter was a miracle baby because, even though I was under some of the worst stress of my life at that point, absolutely nothing went wrong with the pregnancy. Just for the record, I'm proud of both my children and cherish the time we spend together, even moreso now that I have a wonderful daughter-in-law and grandkids.

7. I am a philosophical Taoist. I believe that Christ was influenced by Taoism during the time he wandered and that the best parts of his message came from this earlier wisdom. I also think that much of his message has been distorted. I respect almost all religions. One of the few I don't respect, sadly, is the Taoist religion as it is now practiced. I would still defend the right to worship it.

8. I appreciate my parents and the childhood they gave me. I don't think they were perfect, and people make mistakes, but they did the best they could. All flaws in my character are my fault, not theirs. I also appreciate the extended family I had. I didn't always show my gratitude, but it was there. Is there.

9. I enjoy intellectual pursuits, but the whole reason for living is to love and be loved by others. Without family and friends, I wouldn't have reason to continue.

10. I don't think kids today are worse than kids before our time, or that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. I think, rather, that I'm more aware of problems that I mostly ignored when I was busy raising kids and working for survival. Now that I have time to pay more attention, I'm astounded by the problems that need fixing. On the bright side, I trust my kids and their generation to make a better future. I see evidence of improvement in some areas that I thought were lost causes.

11. I have spent most of my life refusing to hate anyone, ever. I have forgiven people who hurt my family, who hurt me, even those who hurt my children when they were small children. And, at this time in my life, I find myself angry enough with certain politicians that it's a good thing I'll never meet them. It's a good thing I don't carry weapons. I'm not sure that I wouldn't consider it worth spending the rest of my life in prison to remove their influences from the world. This is something I'm having to work to overcome in myself.

12. I don't like wind hitting my face. I feel like I can't breathe and start to panic.

13. I'm so scared of heights that I get vertigo in balconies. I've been this way all of my life and, to my knowledge, I've never fallen or been dropped from a height.

14. Candles, incenses and strong odors of any kind, especially chemical or floral, cause me to have serious headaches, get congested, and have trouble breathing. They actually affect me almost as badly as cigarette smoke. I often have to leave a store, restaurant, or even a friend's house due to the beautiful scents around me.

15. I'm thrilled to be playing Miss Maudie Atkinson in To Kill a Mockingbird. I think I was extremely fortunate to be chosen for the play and to have been given this part, especially, because I like being a champion for positive change.

16. I have given away, mostly to strangers, mostly to children, almost 14,000 books. If more books given to children didn't make -some- kind of difference, it wasn't for lack of trying. I'm 4libros on www.BookCrossing.com if you want to look.

17. I was a theatre critic in St. Louis for a few years for a public radio station.

18. My three favorite (non-religious) books are _The_Princess_Bride_ by William Goldman, _Illusions_ by Richard Bach (author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull), and _A_Dirty_Job_ by Christopher Moore. I also enjoy Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. There are many many more I could recommend, but these are my top few.

19. The most I was ever paid for a short story or poem was $50. That's happened three times, all three from winning literary contests. My short story, "The Mountain," has been published in small magazines five times.

20. This November 1st will be husband's and my 30th wedding anniversary. When we married, there were people actively opposed to our union. In fact, there were so many rumors that ours was a "necessary" wedding that, when I had trouble saying my vows, the minister almost stopped the ceremony. The rumors were completely unfounded. I was so much in love that, every time I looked at him, I started crying from happiness. My mother had the same problem at her wedding.

21. I crochet baby blankets and other items for charity.

22. Thanks mostly to my parents, I've visited almost every state in the union, three provinces of Canada, two Mexican states and London, England. I've lived in Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas, Nebraska, Colorado and Arizona. In my almost 49 years of life, I've moved about 44 times.

23. I collect obscure poetry, owls, fiber arts, good quality pencils, and books.

24. I plan to copy this note from FaceBook to my blog. I've only been blogging for a few months. I started with the idea of putting all my writings in one place, so that my kids could read it, if they ever wanted to. The project has grown and I find myself writing more than I have in some time. Additionally, blogging has opened up a whole new community to me, one that has some very interesting people in it.

25. The best stories I ever told were imagined to entertain my middle brother at times during our childhood when our parents put me in charge of him and we had few to no toys to play with. I doubt he remembers "Pirate Ship" and "Junkyard Orphans." I barely do. But, this skill saved me from numerous spankings. I was the eldest and his actions reflected on my own, and I can only remember one time in my entire youth when he was held accountable for misbehaving when I was "in charge." Rather than resenting anyone for this normal part of family life, I am grateful for the development it gave to my creativity. Kids today have too many distractions from exploring their own minds. ;-) Yeah, I know, that's an "old person" thing to say.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Quill #53 - The Fourth of July (1973)

Sparks igniting from the fire,
Color shooting into the sky,
Bursting brightly high and higher,
Then disappearing by and by.

Celebrating peace and happiness,
Brought to us from long ago,
Men who braved and did their best,
Whose lives were lost to win the war.

Years and years from then called now,
Winning still the peace won then,
With our best years still to go,
America must be till the end!