Quill #49 - Soap Dish, Part Deux

For 25 years, I suffered in silence. This one little thing annoyed me, but I managed to remain quiet about it, until one day I snapped. I yelled at my whole family about the way they put the soap on the soapdish in the shower. How could they not know which side was up? One way gave maximum air-drying and minimum melting and they always did it the wrong way - or so I thought.

Almost the same day that I snapped, I found out I was wrong. I went to each person at whom I had yelled and apologized. I told them I was wrong, I was sorry for yelling at them, sorry for being wrong, and even sorry that I was the kind of person who sometimes yelled at others, and who was annoyed by stupid things. I asked them for forgiveness and told them that they had been right about which way to set the soap after a shower. Then, I asked them to return to their previous method. Each one was gracious and accepted my apologies. Each one asked me if I was sure of what I wanted, to which I nodded emphatically, and each one agreed to return to their old ways.

God, in his infinite wisdom, or Loki, in his infinite tricksterhood, has seen fit to remind me of my failings every single day for the rest of my life. Every member of my wonderfully loving family, who would do anything to make me happy, remembers me yelling at them, and what I wanted then. Not one of them remembers the apology.

Quill #48 - Gnome, Sweet Gnome (1985)

The days pass sunless ever on,
No beams to blind me underground.
Yet all the star-souls in the sky
Will shine forever in my land.

We pick them lovingly, every gem,
Then polish all with care,
And place one on each treasure made.
They twinkle everywhere.

No seasons mar our handiwork,
No weather comes within,
No storms to frighten little gnomes
Of flashing knives and din.

Familiar streets are all I see,
No crowds nor traffic jams.
There is no point to hurrying
When time is in your hands.

Whatever happens on the top,
The famine and the war,
It need not bother us down here
If humans cannot share.

Quill #47 - Adult Cognitive Development

There are cognitive lessons that require a certain level of maturity to understand. They can be taught by rote prior to the child's readiness but will not truly be understood until the child matures into the lesson. Algebra is taught at a certain age in school mainly because it can't be taught any sooner with much success, and is one example of this kind of learning. It is not merely that the child hasn't learned enough about mathematics to gain from this new twist, it's also that their brains are not developed enough, not ready to think in these new ways. There are studies on this. I looked these up after writing my observations on this matter.

http://www.brainstages.net/Stages1.htm (I'm ending a mental growth spurt.)
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/piaget.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modularity_of_mind
http://www.sonic.net/~cr2/sociohis.htm
http://www.education.com/reference/article/development-cognitive-structure-mathematics/?page=2 (Nichan, read what's "normal" for a child of 18 months!)

Based upon my own experiences and the lives of other people, I have discovered that lessons requiring a certain maturity level continue all through life. There are things I did not understand until a certain level of maturation, and this seems to be true almost every time I learn something new. Furthermore, it explains why past cultures have revered older people. It isn't just that they have more experience; they have actually learned unique-to-their-age lessons from that experience - lessons we can't even perceive till we get there ourselves. These may be cultural adjustments, or adaptive behaviors learned at advanced ages, or it might be due to the 4-year brain maturity model. I'm not a scientist. The fact that this became evident to me without having studied anything about it should indicate that it's an observation with some merit.

Not every "old person" learns all the lessons. Many are stunted due to alcoholism or other barriers to growth but, for the most part, the older a person gets and the more experiences they have, the more they understand about life, particularly if they're paying attention to the lessons. If this sounds like a "duh" statement to you, then you're probably not getting what I mean. I'm saying that there are things we, even as adults, are not cognitively ready to learn or understand until our brains develop fully for understanding the new twist.

Explaining a lesson to someone younger - if the younger person listens - can assist them in the way that rote knowledge can assist you in school. They can avoid pitfalls if they do what they were told. But, even if the advice makes sense to the younger person, they aren't likely to fully understand why they were given that advice until they reach the maturity needed, themselves. This is more than just remembering advice our mothers gave us and finally understanding it due to a life change; it's a biological advancement within the brain.

We can easily see this, as parents, when we try to get a toddler to avoid fire or a young teen to avoid expanding their horizons too quickly for their maturity level. The disconnect between our advice and their understanding is much easier to see at these ages. But, there are similar cognitive disconnects at all ages, something not easily explained to "fully grown" adults in their 20s, 30s, and older. Many of us find the thought offensive that older people might really have some mental advantage to our current selves. Younger brains might work faster, but older brains may actually be more fully developed.

We have not been raised to truly listen to our elders and many of us pooh-pooh their wisdom. Their generation is different from our own. Times are changing too quickly for them to keep up with modern issues. There are a million excuses. I'm guilty of this behavior, myself. And, as I said, not every elderly person paid attention to their lessons. Many had barriers to learning. But, we need to listen. If someone older makes any sense at all, at least pay attention to their advice, whether you follow it or not. They're probably trying to teach you algebra when you're in kindergarten.

Quill #46 - Gaming Poetry: Ring City & Dark Ring Cycle (1981)

Lucian

A shadow in the dark
That other shadows fear,
A breath to blow the loudest horn
Though not be heard by ears,
A dream to bind realities
That never seems to pass,
A blade to shear the deepest fog
Yet cannot bend the grass,
And evergreen to fallen leaves,
An age that never ends,
A king among the ancient ones,
The law that never bends,
A bird that flies from house to house
And yet no feather owns,
But when the fire of day is gone,
The comes the light unknown.

-----

Narya

When at last all shadows flee
And one light left to burn,
The dream shall waken those in peace
To knowledge they must learn.

One ring alone awaits the call
To save one ring from fate,
The chosen heir to fire's ring
Shall open trouble's gate.

An offspring of two kindred
The fire shall grow from hate,
But light and fire are lovers
And so the light shall mate.

And when the light and fire are one
Both kindreds shall unite,
The peace that was will always be
When all shall know the light.

Quill #45 - Fashions (2010)

I tried to help a young girl today.
She was sad and I tried to cheer her.
I didn't know that she wanted to cry,
Rail against fate, and throw her anger
Like shoes aimed toward minds.
My words inflamed her to greater sorrow,
Which befuddled me, confused.
I don't remember choosing emotions
As a monthly runway statement,
A daily garment of ennui.
Dramatic clothing, yes,
Not a cloak of drama,
Reactions but not confabulations.
I left her alone rather than argue.
That made her happier than I had.
She couldn't wait to complain how she was lonely.

Quill #44 - Challenged (2010)

"Write something humorous," he says,
"Not so depressing."
I frown at him and sigh.
Toy planes could land on my nose
And he would grin,
But I never know what is funny.
Whole audiences at theatres
Consider me warped.
And I'm always in the
Most
Visible
Spot
When laughter catches me
And tears me apart,
Helpless to defend myself.
It's always a wry moment,
A peek into painful,
Something revealing,
Poignant,
Stubborn,
Childish,
A human moment
That unguards me,
And every row of heads
Stares
At
Me.
I snicker at my own thoughts
And he says, "Yeah!"
"Write about that."

Quill #43 - Whither (2000)

West of the Westward Arch,
Past Giant Muddy,
Under pines on flint hills,
Cranes stand watching me.

Sitting on fallen trunks,
I feel the Turtle
Channeling rich black mud.
Its spirit calls me.

"Let flow the grave regrets."
"Leave tearful endings."
"Shower the world with bliss,"
Manitous whisper.

"Someday this ache will end."
"Pain is but fleeting."
"Your heart will fill again;
All will be mended."

Still I sit silently,
Questing to hear him,
A voice I'll never know
On this world again.

I want his comforting;
Need his caresses.
My hand goes out to him,
Catching a zephyr.

Can he come back to me,
One of these moments?
Will he hold my soul in
His strong arms again?

Out of the woods beneath,
Katydids stop,
Calling me back from deep
Echoes of longing.

Where has he gone, my love?
Will I soon follow?
Tears drop upon my face;
The sky is weeping.

Tree splits before my eyes.
Lightning has struck it.
Low thunder mocks my cries.
I run to my car.

Safe in my sacred space,
I turn on static,
Waiting for messages
Sent by the storm god.

"Don't look into the past."
"Live in the moment."
"Enjoy the happiness
Gathered on this day."

Nothing is coming through,
None of the lessons.
Living is such a chore
Till this tempest ends.

I hear him call my name;
From river dirges.
My cell phone chirps to me.
Which song should I heed?

I see a ray of light
Flash through my window.
I know who should guide me.
And then, I follow.