At first I tried drinking it in the usual fashion,
Warm and straight out of the container,
But it just made me want to gag.
Not from the flavor!
After a lifetime of texture,
I wasn't ready to lose variety in my diet.
Never a wine connoisseur
The age or origin of a liquid didn't matter to me.
I was hooked on texture,
And began to experiment with several techniques
To see what could be stomached.
Even a bit of gentle cooking,
Realized that all were palatable.
I guess the form doesn't matter as much as the content.
In any case, I was able to effect
Such a wide variety of textures,
My friends began asking for recipes.
Instead, I began a catering service.
A full eight-course dinner,
Was the favorite among my clients.
I would begin with mulled wine
And a pastry thin crisp
To crumble into the soup.
Then, a fine simulated steak with gravy,
Followed by warm pudding.
Some guests would balk at the cooked items,
Until they tried them.
Chewy, moist drops in candy mold shapes
Were the piece de resistance.
No one ever turned away from those.
Animal and people shapes were the most popular,
Cartoon characters for the children's parties.
Drops were difficult to time correctly,
But well worth the effort.
If all else failed to satisfy,
Red velvet cake with bright whipped topping was a crowd pleaser,
For any party, any age.
More often than not,
My clients would groan away from the table,
Marvelling at how many different ways I'd managed
To prepare their favorite food.
Which is how I made a name for myself - "Dan's Macabres" -
Caterer to my vampire kin.